A woman asked me yesterday if parenting was hard

I lied to a woman in Macy's yesterday. I was cozied in the corner of the bathroom in one of those big comfy chairs nursing Jonas and I could see her peeking at me in the reflection of the mirror. At first I thought she might be one of those breastfeeding judgers since I was nursing uncovered due to the fact that it was hot as Hades in that bathroom.

I was sitting there trying to think of some witty comeback about her staring at my boobs when she asked me, "Does it hurt?" I responded with a, "Huh?" And she's like, "You know, nursing? Breastfeeding?" AKA that thing you're doing with your boob right this second. I said no because obviously I'm a seasoned breastfeeding vet and I could do it in my sleep...literally. She touched her stomach and said, "Oh, okay because this is my first and I'm really scared and I'm having a baby and alkjf;aejr;aekjr," or something like that.

I peeked around the stroller, expecting to see a big belly but it was flat as a board. I, of course, asked her how far along she was and when she was due - just 8 weeks along - so she's probably still really excited to bring it up to anyone who will listen that she's having a baby. For some reason, credit it to word vomit I guess, I told her, "Don't worry, it's easier than you think. I mean in general." She gave me this relieved smile like ohthankgodit'sgoingtobeokay.

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After she left, I started asking myself why I told her that. It's not easier than you think and I basically just fed her the lie of the century. Parenting is by far the hardest thing you will ever, in your whole entire life, partake in. It is grueling and exhausting and rewarding and gut-wrenching and hard as hell, so why in the world did I tell her that it easy? When she's up five nights in a row, living on coffee and fumes, she's going to start cursing the day she ever ran into the girl nursing in the Macy's bathroom for telling her it was easy. Crap.

But really, I think there is something to be said for softening the heavy blow that comes with being a new parent. Instead of instilling fear around birth and newborns and toddlers and all of that, it's important to be supportive. To say, "Hey, you'll live. I did. You can do it." There should be camaraderie in motherhood. Everyone has their horror stories (uh, hello, I swore to my mom on February 17th of this year that I am not having any more children), but the important thing is that they will survive.

There will be tears, yes. Both by mom and baby. And late nights with no sleep and days you wish you could teleport back to 2004, when the only thing you had to worry about was what time you should head to the beach after class. But then there are the joys of your child learning his first word.  When they tell you how much they love you. Learning to walk and crawl and sing and dance.

I'm glad I lied to her. Maybe she won't remember me at all or maybe she'll think I'm crazy. I know she'll hear lots of bad stuff along the way, but I hope she remembers that even though it's really hard, it's easier than you think. Just look at your sweet baby's face.

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