Ahh, weekend

What a lovely weekend it has been...

Lazy Friday night

Fun Saturday at Lions, Tigers, and Bears

Relaxed Sunday morning

We're off to my aunt's to watch the Chargers lose win.

I'm trying to pretend that the weekend is not over yet...

Oh, by the way:

Orange

Last night Gabriel and I were reading the book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. In the book, there's one page where the mouse is coloring with a few different colored crayons...this was our conversation...

Me: Gabriel, do you see the brown crayon, can you say brown?

Gabriel: Bwooown

Me: Can you say black?

Gabriel: Back?

Me: Can you say blue?

Gabriel: Buuuueee

Me: Can you say yellow?

Gabriel: Lellow?

Me: Can you say orange?

Gabriel: Apple...

Oops, I did it again

I am officially the world's worst employee. I called in sick again.

I admit, I probably should be saving my sick time for when I'm reeeeally, really sick, but it's so hard to want to go on a day like this...cold, dark, cozy...ahhhhh

But I swear I'm not faking it. I'm pretty convinced that Adrian's mother did something to her beans. I woke up with the worst case of bubbly, painful, uncomfortable "tummy troubles," tried  the Pepto , texted my boss and told her it was going to be a while before I could make it to the office.

I got myself and Gabriel dressed, completely intending to go in but on my drive to the sitter's house, my stomached chuuuuurrrrrnnnnnneeeedddd and tuuuuurrrrnnneeedddd and long story short, basically there was no way I was going to make it in any time soon.

So instead, I'm laying comfortably on my couch in close distance to the toilet, watching re-runs of How I Met Your Mother and talking to one of my favorite people! Life is pretty decent right now...

I don't know what the hell I'm doing, part 1 - Discipline

I hate admitting when I don't know something; it happens to be the source of many skirmishes with my husband and tends to occasionally get me in trouble at work.

But I just have to say it. I have no idea how to discipline my child.

I really thought this was something that would come naturally. I'm a good mother, everything I do is always in the best interest of the boo boo. But this? I just can't figure it out.

I think it comes down to the fact that I'm too lenient. I'm the one who he comes to for comfort, love, affection; I kiss the owwies and make the boo boos go away.

I'm also the one who spends the most time with him, aside from his daycare provider. Generally if he is being a little bugger, I'm the disciplinarian. I'm supposed to be the mean guy, but I'm finding that I just can't be both.

He's not respectful of the mean mommy if the nice mommy is so nice. So now-hitting, kicking, yelling, tantrums and all the other fun crazy toddler stuff is happening and I can't figure out what works for us.

I personally don't like the idea of spanking, at least not at this age. Perhaps with a teenager, a quick swipe whips them into shape but I can't justify swatting a little boy, no matter how bratty they get.

(Sidenote: I'm speaking under the assumption that everyone realizes I'm talking about a quick, effective spank-not beating the child)

That being said, I have tried the swat unsuccessfully. He sat there looking at me for a second as if to say-wtf? And then swiped back. It was quick confirmation that spanking was definitely not the answer for us. I'm too wimpy scared to spank him hard enough for it to hurt and he's too precocious to not respond.

We're currently working on the time-out thing and it's been okay. I'm trying to be regular about it but even that I find very confusing. When is it necessary? What offense is bad enough to deem it necessary? If he doesn't listen to my reprimands for smaller issues, should he be put "on the wall" instead? Should I ignore smaller problems and only really discipline the bigger ones? Does hearing "no, don't do that," and "Gabriel, please stop now" make him completely numb to my voice?

See, I have no idea what I'm doing.

It's extremely frustrating because up until now, I had a plan for how I was going to handle everything-baby that came my way. I read so much before Gabriel was born and in the early months about what he was going through so I felt extremely prepared and well-versed in the lingo.

It's kind of comical because this all started happening just as I was beginning to feel completely confident as a mother, totally in control and feeling like I had it aaaaaaaall together. Like I could stop reading because obviously I know everything there is to know about babies.

Boy, he fooled me.

I need to stop flying by the seat of my pants and start reading up again.

What's in a (blog) name?

Would a blog by any other name smell as sweet?  (Shakespeare)
As fair art thou, my bonnie blog (Burns)
Does it stink like rotten blog? (Hughes)
Whosever blog this is should be ashamed! (Silverstein)
Huh? You say it's mine? Oh, dear,
I knew it looked familiar! (Silverstein)
I guess I will blog on. (Hughes)

Choosing a blog name is tough! I don't like "Jessica's Musings" and I haven't really liked any of the previous 75 I've had...what to do, what to do...What's the connective thread  in my life that represents who I am? Any suggestions? Who knew choosing a name would be so, so tough...

Suffering from post-eating depression

Olive Garden, why do I allow you to do this to me time and time again? I don't know why I always run back to you, tummy growling with desire even though I know the (calorie) high never lasts.

It starts with the bread-oh, that warm, salty bread. One bite and I can't help but consume every last morsel.

I always move too fast with you, ordering impulsively and throwing caution to the wind. Calamari? Yes, please. Salad, of course! And don't forget the extra parmesan. Trying to take advantage of every second I can spend with you, oh my delicious Olive Garden.

By the time my main dish comes out, I am already beginning to feel the regret. How could I have been such a fool? Sick with glutton, I take a few nibbles and oohh, I just can't resist. I desperately begin to devour the buttery noodles into my mouth. But no, take a breath. Savor the last few bites...the end is near.

As always, we have a few minutes together and then you send me away feeling sick and overwhelmed with guilt. Why oh why did I need those last few bites?

It's been two hours since our rendezvous and I can't get you out of my mind. How you managed to mask those 243 million calories by your lovely scent and rich flavor, I'll never know...

How will I ever recover from the kcals and fat grams? I'll carry those around with me forever; oh how you've smothered my body with your lardaceous touch!

To recover from this traumatic and shameful affair, I suppose I'll have to drown my sorrows with Ben and Jerry. They always know how to cheer me up.

Fill in the Blank FRIDAY

This is a segment taken from the little things we do

Enjoy!

1.   The first thing I do in the morning to start my day is: roll over and hit the snooze at least 3 times. Then check my Blackberry for emails, Facebook, etc.

2.  Today I wish I way : enjoying another Jewish holiday aka-taking advantage of not being Jewish and having a lazy day off.

3.  If I had an extra $100 in my bank account today I'd: either buy myself a new watch, pair of jeans or new boots from Macy's. I've  been salivating over their Columbus sale items all week...

4.  Tomorrow: I will be enjoying the company of my hubs and baby boo, entertaining friends at our home, bbq'ing, going to the costume store and coming up with some sort of tasty dinner.

5.  Two things that don't go together are: uggs and minis. It's just weird.

6.  Something I can never pass up at the grocery store is: trashy mags and a cold, bottled diet coke from the little refrigerators.

7.  The last time I tried something new was: this week; I worked at a different office and the best part about it-the peace and quiet. No last minute "I need this now's" or "I need this ten minutes ago's..." Just silence...ahhh...

Musing of the day: Is it weird that...

-I have no idea what I want to do with my life still, at 24 years old?

-I'm contemplating the idea of starting an annual or bi-annual newsletter for my high school graduating class (Before you judge me, I was class president! It's my job to be all chipper, go class of '04, let's all connect)?

-Even though we have finally gotten settled and comfortable in a house we love, in a neighborhood we love, I still want to move out of California? This is all Shannon's fault because she keeps talking about her desire for these mysterious color-changing leaves that nobody in Southern California knows anything about...

-I've been blogging regularly!? Whoa!

-I can't help myself-I want a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks everyday? Whatever you do, don't try the Coffee Bean Pumpkin latte, BLEH!

-I really want to throw a holiday party?

-I would rather be staying home with Gabriel right now and going to school more time, even though I was so ready to go back to work in January? I think I have realized how lucky I was...

-I'm bummed-mad at my husband because he stayed the night in El Centro last night and he didn't call us to say goodnight, he "left" his phone in his hotel room while he was out partying until 1am? Gabriel stayed up until 9 with me because I was hoping to talk to him!

-I'm counting down the hours to go home because I love walking into my house when the wafting smell of stew in the slow cooker is there to greet me?

Have a weird day!

A lesson in husbandry, and no I don't mean the animals

Marriage is tough. I love it, but it's tough. What's even harder is having a baby, both working full time jobs, both taking classes, and still finding time to converse between shouts to the toddler that "that's hot, oweee" and "eww, that's yucky, don't touch!"

But really, men. Really? Raise your hand if you think it's effective to yell, bark, scream orders to your wife because you're tired/hungry/stressed/being an asshole. Husband, put your hand down.

I wouldn't call myself a disobedient wife. I truly love to serve my husband the way I believe a wife should; I like to have dinner ready for him when he gets home on the chance that I have a day off, I regularly check to make sure he's not wearing stained or dirty pants, and I'm sort of type A when it comes to keeping the living room, kitchen and front room clean (to hell with the back rooms, I'm not superwoman!). I balance our very unbalanced budget. I am almost the sole caretaker of our child as I make sure he's fed, clean, wiped, played with, rested...you name it, I do it. I pack Adrian's lunches. Make sure he's awake and out of bed for work.

 If I decide ONE day, that I'm going to have dinner with my parents and not go straight home while he's at school, I think I'm entitled to it. If I don't answer his fourth call within ten minutes, so sue me. If I call him back and he's mad for some unapparent reason and hangs up on me, not my problem. If I don't bring him dinner home because I assumed he went to class and was planning on cooking him dinner but really he skipped class and has been sitting on his ass waiting for me to come home and he's still starving, he's an idiot.

But if he thinks that he can take his stress out on me, try to make me feel like his work problems are mine because he has to go to El Centro at 2:30am (which really didn't happen until 5:30am) since I wasn't at the house to get something for some guy who stopped by, tell me that I'm really fucking pissing him off right now, AND THEN TELL ME TO GET MY ASS IN THE KITCHEN, he has another thing comin'.


This wife doesn't play that game.


To defend him just a very, VERY tiny bit, I think he was trying on his big boy pants by telling me to get my ass in the kitchen. He's never said those words to me and hopefully if he wants to keep me and his balls intact, he'll never say it again. Needless to say, that tough guy thing really doesn't do it for me. I laughed in his face, told him no, and that if he wanted even a bowl of cereal from my kitchen, he had some major apologizing and sweet talking to do. As always, he and his pride slunk off into the bedroom without a peep, trying to rest up for his 2:30am appointment with the 8 east freeway.

You can bet at 5:00am when I woke his ass up after sleeping through his alarm he was reaaaaaaaaal grateful.

The friend deficit

(Jessica + Adrian) + 1 baby + (Jessica's friends + Adrian's friends) - x(those without children) - x(people we would never hang out with) =...?

Can anyone figure out the answer?

I know it's quite complicated, but I'll give you a hint: It's less than 10. Probably less than 5. Pathetic, right?

We're getting a little desperate. We absolutely adore our friends who don't have children and enjoy hanging out with them regularly, but we feel like we're missing an important component to parenthood: other parent friends that live in the area. I have a few friends that are moms whom I keep in touch with regularly who live farther away, but it's not the same when you can't schedule a playdate.

So, in an effort to seek out parent-friends, Adrian and I are putting our heads together and evaluating all of the people we know. Nice? Check. Kids? Check. Could see ourselves having longer than a two minute conversation with them? Check. Young-ish? Check.

I messaged a friend from elementary school. Adrian is going to chat with a friend from work who he knows has children. Seriously, we need a website just for parents to network! Hello Facebook, help a sister out! We are getting so desperate, we have (humiliatingly) even thrown around the idea of posting an ad on Craigslist. Instead of platonic, can't we create a section called fam4fam?

We were planning on going to the Julian Apple Festival yesterday but it's no fun going alone...so we stayed home. And ate. And cleaned. And did boring stuff because we were depressed. Not like suicide-watch-depressed, but feeling a little cloudy and gray.

If you, fellow 3 followers (plus Erin, because I know you stalk my blog), think of anyone, please send them my In-Order-To-Be-Our-Friend application. Or send them to my website: www.familiesneedfriendstoo.com/we'restillfundeventhoughwehaveachild.