Weekend...flop

I'm off today and tomorrow because I'm awesome, well, and because Jewish people celebrate Pesach (Passover - how about those made Hebrew skills, what, what?) which means I get two lazy days off.

And by the way, there is NOTHING that will make you have to pee/poop faster than when you have 0 out of 2 working bathrooms in your home. Yes, I am annoyed. Yes, I have been begging my husband to come home on his lunch. And finally, yes, I vomited in the sink while trying to fix them myself.

Anyway, we just returned home yesterday from the second of our double header at Adrian's parents' house. Let's just say, two weekends in a row with them is not my cup of tea. Probably by Saturday morning I was searching for the closest sharp object, whether for myself or my MIL, I'm not sure. Don't be mistaken, they are some of the sweetest, kindest, most overbearing and...oh wait, I was saying nice things. They are great. I am a major B who doesn't like to be controlled, I generally do the controlling, and when I'm up there, I have no say over what I eat, what I do, or literally anything to do with Gabriel.

Because of our long commute and the fact that Adrian's family, like typical Mexicans, have no concept of time, Easter was a wash. I generally love Easter! It mostly has to do with the fact that I can eat all the Reese's Eggs I want, but still - it's enjoyable and you get to dress up, which is always fun. On this fateful Easter Sunday, we went to church in the morning (we were late). We got back home and 15 minutes before we were supposed to leave, Adrian's dad decides that he is going to take a nap with Gabriel. We left for the BBQ (late) and lo and behold, nobody was there when we got to the park! After a few minutes, people started pulling up (late).  We had been planning to leave Camarillo at 3pm, but because the BBQ started at 2:30 instead of the original time of 1:00, we didn't end up leaving until closer to 4:30. Gabriel didn't even have time to do an Easter egg hunt! Not to mention, I got snaked into a terrifying conversation with my sister-in-law about the apocalypse.

TO TOP IT ALL OFF, MY LAKERS LOST LAST NIGHT! I'm telling you, this weekend was for the birds. Thank God it's Monday (and I'm off! hehe)

You're a mean one, Mrs. Grinch

Yes, I have become the Grinch Who Stole Fun, at least according to my husband.

In our family, I pay all of the bills and take care of all things money-related. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know the password to our online bank, that's how far removed he is from things financial. Generally, if he needs to spend larger amounts of money, he asks me if we have enough and I give him the go-ahead or the no-go.

Recently, I have been reading A LOT about personal finance. I started following a few blogs (the Simple Dollar and Frugal Dad, to name a few), purchased a few books and have begun listening to Dave Ramsey when I can on Tuesdays and Fridays. The word that comes up so often is the freedom they experience from being debt-free. I honestly can't begin to consider what that might feel like because our entire life as a couple has been buried under credit card and student loan debt, then later car and home debt. We've paid off most of our credit card debt a few times, but it has always been racked back up when Adrian's company wasn't making enough to cut paychecks.

The idea of being free from debt and using Dave Ramsey's debt snowball sounds AMAZING and I know that we have the capacity to take on a program like that because the fact is, we make pretty good money! I don't say that to brag, but really to bring home the idea that with only a few baby steps, we could get to the point where we aren't living like we are below the poverty line at the end of every other paycheck (okay, that's probably a little extreme, but you get the picture).

Here's where our dilemma comes into play -- Adrian doesn't like talking about money. He understands the idea of trimming our budget fat but when it comes down to really pulling out the knife, he doesn't want or like to. He's impulsive and likes to socialize in a money-spending fashion and frankly, who doesn't?! Not that I don't feel the same, but my overall attitude towards money has changed pretty dramatically over the last few months and I'd like to feel some of that freedom these financial gurus keep talking about. I know there must be a better way to convey this sentiment to Adrian, but I'm sort of at a loss; he generally thinks I'm guilting him when he wants to go out and have some fun, and to be honest, I am! I don't want to contribute to our ever-growing pile of debt because what fun is that in the long run?

I've started looking for ways to save money monthly by switching our car insurance, coupon-clipping, and just making overall better decisions. Several times this week I found myself parked in front of a store thinking about an item I wanted, but then remembering that spending money on that thing wasn't my overall goal. I didn't need it, I just wanted it. I started using Mint.com again for our budget and it told me that on average, across our interest fees, ATM fees, and other miscellaneous shit fees, we are charged an average of $90.00/month. Do you realize that over the span of year, we are paying out a little over $1,000.00 on fees alone! That is just sickening to me.

So yes, maybe I have become the Grinch who doesn't like to have as much fun anymore, but I guarantee it'll pay off in the end!

This moment, 4:51pm, Sunday

Two posts in a row about how grateful I am for my life is probably going to make me seem a little mushy, but I just can't help it!

I can't help but be overwhelmingly grateful for this moment, right now. I'm sitting outside on this cool, springish afternoon, watching Gabriel play with his water/sand table as he chit chats with himself and sings Happy Birthday to nobody in particular. Adrian is behind me being the awesome dad that he is, sanding down Gabriel's soon-to-be swing set that has been sitting on the side of the house for, hmmm...8 months?

I'm thankful for moments like this where I'm able to see clearly how blessed I am, unclouded by trivial things like who is making dinner, why the living room isn't clean or how I can convince Gabriel to take a bath without going into major meltdown mode.

I didn't have high hopes for this weekend, I must admit. It started off spiked with a little anxiety and fear, leading to an unexpected trip to the doctor. Nothing has been resolved yet which, although extremely frustrating, does not excuse me from my daily duties as mommy and wife. I'm sure it's nothing to be overly concerned with; I'm most likely worrying for nothing and I'm hopefully being paranoid, but who can say for sure?


Luckily, Adrian and Gabriel have a way of making everything insignificant in comparison to my time with them. Most of the time, they are an escape for me.

As Adrian and I were pulling weeds on our wild and crazy Friday night (again, watching Gabriel entertain himself in the sand), we reflected on how far we've come as a family.

Three years ago, Friday nights would have been filled with a haze of booze and bright lights, followed by an extreme headache.

Two years ago, I was nursing a newborn, sleep deprived and mostly unable to leave the house.

One year ago, we were desperately searching for the perfect place to live (in fact, I think I had just recently started this blog!), considering the best environment to raise our then one-year-old.

Yes, a lot has changed since 2008. We've graduated college, changed jobs, had a baby, gotten married, moved (numerous times), lost everything, gained it all back, purchased a condo, moved into a house (with a yard!), made new friends, lost some.


This weekend, like these past few years, was filled with possibilities, the perpetual motion of building on our life together. We did some home improvement, weeding and mowing, purchased a weed whacker and some patio furniture. Enjoyed each others' company, and that of close friends. Contemplated a vegetable garden.

It's impossible not to be thankful for weekends like this. Especially when they end with watching my husband teach our two-year-old how to swing a baseball bat.