I don't know what the hell I'm doing, part 1 - Discipline

I hate admitting when I don't know something; it happens to be the source of many skirmishes with my husband and tends to occasionally get me in trouble at work.

But I just have to say it. I have no idea how to discipline my child.

I really thought this was something that would come naturally. I'm a good mother, everything I do is always in the best interest of the boo boo. But this? I just can't figure it out.

I think it comes down to the fact that I'm too lenient. I'm the one who he comes to for comfort, love, affection; I kiss the owwies and make the boo boos go away.

I'm also the one who spends the most time with him, aside from his daycare provider. Generally if he is being a little bugger, I'm the disciplinarian. I'm supposed to be the mean guy, but I'm finding that I just can't be both.

He's not respectful of the mean mommy if the nice mommy is so nice. So now-hitting, kicking, yelling, tantrums and all the other fun crazy toddler stuff is happening and I can't figure out what works for us.

I personally don't like the idea of spanking, at least not at this age. Perhaps with a teenager, a quick swipe whips them into shape but I can't justify swatting a little boy, no matter how bratty they get.

(Sidenote: I'm speaking under the assumption that everyone realizes I'm talking about a quick, effective spank-not beating the child)

That being said, I have tried the swat unsuccessfully. He sat there looking at me for a second as if to say-wtf? And then swiped back. It was quick confirmation that spanking was definitely not the answer for us. I'm too wimpy scared to spank him hard enough for it to hurt and he's too precocious to not respond.

We're currently working on the time-out thing and it's been okay. I'm trying to be regular about it but even that I find very confusing. When is it necessary? What offense is bad enough to deem it necessary? If he doesn't listen to my reprimands for smaller issues, should he be put "on the wall" instead? Should I ignore smaller problems and only really discipline the bigger ones? Does hearing "no, don't do that," and "Gabriel, please stop now" make him completely numb to my voice?

See, I have no idea what I'm doing.

It's extremely frustrating because up until now, I had a plan for how I was going to handle everything-baby that came my way. I read so much before Gabriel was born and in the early months about what he was going through so I felt extremely prepared and well-versed in the lingo.

It's kind of comical because this all started happening just as I was beginning to feel completely confident as a mother, totally in control and feeling like I had it aaaaaaaall together. Like I could stop reading because obviously I know everything there is to know about babies.

Boy, he fooled me.

I need to stop flying by the seat of my pants and start reading up again.