Learning gratitude

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I have days when staying at home with my boys doesn't feel like enough. I know you're thinking, "How can she say that about those beautiful boys?" It honestly is hard to even share that I feel that way, since there is this expectation that moms are supposed to love and enjoy every second of being home. Especially because of the fact that I even have the opportunity to do so when so many don't! A few weekends ago, I went through all of my old posts from back when I was working and there were so many places that I read words that I had written about missing my boy and how I yearned to be home with him.

Looking back, all I remember is the pleasure I took in working, but I think I have forgotten all of the distress that comes with leaving your family every day. I've forgotten what it was like to rush around, ushering my child in and out of cars, quick goodbye kisses and tears, an unkempt house, scrambling to throw together meals, hurried conversations with Adrian in between work and laundry and the bustle of life.

Oftentimes, I find myself dwelling on minor frustrations and I've realized over the past few days that I'm missing the bigger picture. The one that is sitting right in front of my face but I'm too busy. I am so focused on the minute details, the bowls that are left around the house and socks that aren't picked up, that I've forgotten that I am blessed, probably far more than I deserve. It's easy to speak words, saying that you're ungrateful and that you're going to be better about showing your appreciation, but it's much harder to teach yourself to truly be grateful for all of the good around you.


I believe that there is a direct correlation between gratitude and happiness. My biggest fear is that I will spend these precious days too wrapped up in wishing for the other side of the fence that I will miss out on the greatness of my own side. I have decided to make an active effort to be thankful for what I have.

My approach to gratitude:

1. I have started keeping a 3-sentence journal: I am thankful for ____ about my husband. I am thankful for ____ about my children. I am thankful for _____ about life. 
2. Really, truly looking at my children's faces. Listening to them. Drinking in and soaking up the moments with them instead of being concerned with the little details.
3. Prayer. This is something new for me because I don't pray enough. Usually I'll throw up a quick thank you or please can  you help me with this, but I need more. 
4. Reminding myself every day that it is more important for my family to feel loved than it is for my house to be perfect. 
5. Saying thank you. To my husband, to my kids, to my sister, to the people around me. Practice thankfulness and you will be thankful.

They say that awareness is the first step in growth. 

I know this ish got serious but don't worry, it's over for now. Tomorrow's my birthday and who wants to be Debbie Downer on her birthday? Not this girl.