Sometimes I do really embarrassing things in Target

I forgot to tell this story when I was going on and on about how fabulously wonderful my weekend in Napa was. Or it's possible that I intentionally blocked it from my memory.

So you know that moment when you are dressed to the nines and you're feeling really hot, right? Strutting your stuff. Okay, so picture me doing that. I'm dressed in this outfit (my new fave dress, purchased for $14.00 thankyouverymuch):

I was the DD during the day on Sunday so people could have some bloody mary's and all of that jazz at brunch. What I'm trying to say is I was SOBER. No excuses.

We stopped at Target for people who needed to use the ATM and so I decided it would be a good idea to use the restroom. I take care of my business, wash my hands, walk out of the bathroom, PAST ALL OF THE REGISTERS WITH LINES FULL OF PEOPLE.

A woman taps me on the shoulder and whispers something in my ear because this is what was going down (or up?):

pics on Sodahead

My entire butt was showing, as in, the back of my dress was completely tucked into my undies. And let me just tell you, it was not just five steps out of the bathroom, I was almost to the doors.

I know what you're thinking...didn't I feel a breeze? Um, no. Like I said, I thought I was hot shit. I wasn't even thinking about the free-flowing air on my badonkadonk.

I did what any normal person would do. Pulled my dress out and ran my recently-bare ass out of the doors as fast as possible.

All I can say - my friends who were in Target with me and didn't notice - I hate you. Just kidding. Kind of.