Life lessons for my sons

For some reason, it's when I'm tucking Gabriel in at night that I realize how big he has gotten, how old he is. We play this questions game at night where we'll ask about our day, favorite colors, animals, what we like to do, etc. and he just gives such mature, wise answers.

It strikes me during these intimate conversations with him that soon, maybe not tomorrow, but soon he will be a man. And I'm going to have to mold this man into a thoughtful, compassionate human being. So I've been thinking a lot about who I am, what values Adrian and I hold on to, and what standards and morals I want to instill in both of my boys.

These are the things I lie awake in bed at night for, thinking about my actions for the day and what they teach them about me. Am I showing them what it's like to be a good and honorable woman? Am I giving them examples for how to be a person of solid character?

So, I give you my list...an ever fluid and growing list...a list and a reminder of what and who I want my children to be:

There are no chores just for women or just for men. I want my boys to know how to do laundry, do the dishes, sweep, etc. It's important to take care of your home and their wives someday will thank me.

To tell the truth. Always, always, always. Own up to your mistakes, it makes you human. Lying hurts people, families, and always makes a bad situation worse.

It's okay to play dirty. Physically, not figuratively. Figuratively is bad and makes for dishonest human beings. Physically, it makes boys more creative, burns energy and most of all, builds fun memories.

To learn by example but also to learn by trial and error. I want them to find their way by doing, trying, seeking, learning, growing, failing, falling and picking themselves back up again.

Be kind. Not just to be nice to people, but to be kind and gentle in their hearts. To really want to give their best to people and treat others with compassion.

Be competitive. That doesn't mean they always need to win, but to strive to do their very best in all that they do.

Really listen to people. Pay attention to the ways that people try to communicate with you. There is no better way to validate someone's feelings than showing that you care. And, you can learn a lot not only by listening, but by watching someone's body language.

Give a good handshake. This is so important. People (or only me?) remember a solid, firm, confident handshake; you can tell a lot about a person by the way they introduce themselves.

Follow through. If you say you will do something, do it. It's that simple. Let people know they can count on you.

Learn how to cook. Just do it. It's good for your body to eat real meals.

Be sincere. When you say something, mean it. If it's brutally honest, at least it was sincere and true.

Take care of your body and mind. Be active, eat well and care for your emotional state. You will be prepared to take on the world.

Give to people without expecting anything back. Some people won't give back and that's okay. As long as you give with your heart and with sincerity, you won't need anything in return.

What would be on your life lesson list?