I realize I'm being a little insensitive

Adrian is home sick. Again. This is the second day in a row. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and when he is sick, I really feel for him and want him to get better stat. But my house is my domain during the day. I like to watch what I want to watch, listen to music as loudly as I want when I clean, not have to listen to snoring in the living room because he doesn't understand the concept of a bed, and just in general have my own space.

Not to mention, I'm 37 weeks pregnant, sore, tired, uncomfortable, having occasional morning sickness, swollen so badly to the point that my toes look like sausages you could pluck off and eat...you get my point.

Perhaps if he rubbed my feet when they were sore or went to the store at 10pm (not asking much here!!) when I was craving peanut butter M&M's, I might be able to muster up an ounce or two of sympathy. Instead, I told him he stunk and needed to take a shower.

I think this baby needs to make a quick exit because it's only getting worse by the day...

It pains me to say I told you so...NOT!

When I hinted at the fact that Adrian can be stubborn and frustrating in my last post, boy was it an understatement. He happens to be one of the most hard-headed people I've ever met in my life. Combine that with my stubborn streak and you can understand why our relationship can get a little volatile interesting at times.

He thinks he's always right. I know I'm usually right. He doesn't like to do anything unless it's his idea. I like to try to help him along the way, but it's mostly useless. Our conversations generally go a little something like this:

"You should really blahblahblah because blahblahblah is going to happen..."

 He ignores what I say and blahblahblah happens.

"I told you that was going to happen! Now I have to do blahblahblah to fix it because you didn't take care of it..."

 Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Every day of my life.

Well...I have been mentioning (and by mentioning, I mean I tell him any time we drive together) that his new truck's speedometer is off. As in, it shows 8-10 miles lower than what he's actually driving so kind of a big deal. I don't know what it is about men and their trucks, but ever since he got this thing, he drives faster than he used to.

On Sunday he got a ticket for speeding. His speedometer is off by about 8 miles, between the speed I saw him going and the speed the officer got on his radar. When the officer was done writing him up, I looked at him smiling.

"Jess, don't even say it."

"But please, can I??!"

"No."

Since I can't say it to him, I have to say it somewhere...

I TOLD YOU SO!

2008 - Present

Our lives have changed pretty drastically over the last few years.We've spent time with in-laws and families, exchanged traditions and experienced the highs and lows of the holiday season. Together we've spent Christmases overflowing with gifts and still others spent clutching the few pennies we had and making promises for next year.

When I look back on the few years we've spent together, the common thread I see is that whether our pockets are overflowing or completely empty, there is always enough. Enough food on the table. Enough time to make each other and our families feel special. Enough love to go around.

Our first year together was spent in Ventura/Camarillo with Adrian's family, then to Big Bear for Christmas Day with mine. We were young, unmarried, pregnant, broke, anxious yet hopeful. Our parents were nervous for us and what we had gotten ourselves into...

Christmas 2008 - Ventura, CA

This picture was taken three days before our wedding. We decided on the 20th to get married and somehow, in 7 days, a wedding materialized (thanks almost entirely to my parents who are amazing) and I married my frustrating, stubborn, lovable best friend. We had moved to San Diego that November because Adrian was laid off so we literally had nothing. But, as Adrian likes to say, money isn't real. Love is. Family is. And we officially, legally became a family that year.

Christmas 2009 - Alpine, CA

Last year was exciting because Gabriel was old enough to figure out how to open presents. We were actually able to spoil him, each other, our parents and my siblings; for a couple who hadn't had the pleasure of spoiling their families, it really, truly was the season of giving. It was so nice to, in a small way, bring joy to our loved ones. (I personally think our faces were a little brighter this year)

Christmas 2010 - Alpine, CA

This year, things are so different and yet reminiscent of the same feelings I had in 2008. We're a little older and wiser, settled in our role as parents and soon will be celebrating our second wedding anniversary. Any day starting after Christmas, our baby could arrive, leaving me with similar feelings...anxious, hopeful, excited, scared... 

We'll be spending this year at Adrian's parents' house, for both Christmas Eve and Day. As much as I'm sad to miss out on the festivities that are always so much fun at Nana's, I'm looking forward to Gabriel being able to spend some much needed time with his cousins on that side of the family. Plus, I'm not giving up too much because we're going to hopefully make it home in time to have a Christmas dinner at my parents' house. All in all, it's shaping up to be quite a lovely holiday!

Christmas 2011 - El Centro, CA

Christmas crafting

We've been having lots of fun around here, channeling the Christmas spirit. Gabriel has really enjoyed helping me put up the Christmas decorations around the house, from playing outside eating ice cream while Adrian put up lights to making hand print ornaments for our tree (which we have yet to get...tomorrow!). He's loving watching Elf, the Grinch and Rudolf and the Island of Misfit Toys, as well as having lots of kitchen dance parties to Christmas music with me.

Here are some of the fun things we've been up to/making...
 

Christmas Ornaments for Nana, Mimi and Tata, and Grandma and Grandpa...

Gingerbread Houses with Nina...

He was more interested in eating the candy.

And making random crafts...

No-armed snowman family

At this point, I'm a little crafted out, so I'm trading it in for Christmas shopping! In fact, as soon as I put Gabriel down right now for his nap, I'm heading back out to do some more damage...woooo!!!

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Don't worry, I've stopped wallowing in the what-if's and the should-have's of yesterday. We're on to bigger and better things...and by bigger, I mean my huge-ass (haha, huge ass...seriously though...) belly!

Cool random fact: Baby bean child has been baking for 34 weeks and Gabriel is now 34 months old. Kind of trippy, right? Kind of like all is right in the world or something.

Bean child is supposedly weighing in at a whopping 4.75 pounds, basically about the heft of a good-sized cantaloupe. So essentially, he makes up about 18% of what I've gained thus far, all of which has settled in the huge ass and the thunder thighs. It's all good, though. I'm planning to jump right back in to Dub-Dub for the Chub Chub, otherwise known as Weight Watchers, as soon as I can evict this little love child. My sissy needs to drop some poundage too so she said she would jump on the bandwagon with me.

I decided to switch doctors after my last extremely disappointing visit  and I am sooo happy with my decision. My friend/doula recommended that I consider it and at first I was pretty hesitant because I'm so far along but after meeting with my new doc, I'm really glad she encouraged me to consider the option.

We decided on a nursery theme and we're going to do cowboys/cowgirls. I found this amazing Lonesome Dove sign on eBay and I'm totally going to nerd-out and put it in the room (PS, is it bad to have a sign that says "saloon" in your child's room?). And maybe I'll put a picture of Cap'n Call and Gus in there, just because I can...haha. I've found a bunch of other fun stuff, especially on Etsy, that I want to buy but I'm attempting to have some restraint.

I follow/lurk on my Babycenter.com birth month group and I swear all of the women have already packed a hospital bag. Their nurseries are all finished and beautiful. As in, ready for the big day. I'm so not ready. I felt guilty that I hadn't done anything except unpack a few boxes of clothes so I set up the pack'n'play bassinet in our room next to my bed. It's really highlighting the stark reality of the fact that this baby could show its face in as early as 3 weeks. What the whuck? Seriously!

Enough baby, I'm sure you're sick of it but too bad because I still have 6 weeks, and then after that
you'll just be bombarded with obnoxiously cute pictures of the little bean and brother.

Speaking of obnoxiously cute...

Note to self - do not leave lotion at toddler's eye level...

We've finally gotten him to sleep in his bed again by convincing him that if he sleeps there, Santa will bring him this awesome Cars bed. It costs about million dollars between the frame and the mattress, but if it means he'll consistently sleep there,a I'm all in! Since we're getting him the bed, we're going to re-do his room in Cars stuff, maybe not completely, but at least a few cool things.

We've done a couple of Christmas crafts that I'll post as soon as I can go through the extremely exhausting task of uploading photos...but seriously, I keep forgetting. Hopefully we're getting our tree on Monday - we have a busy weekend with Adrian's work Christmas party on Saturday night and then a little vacay to Big Bear on Sunday. After the tree is up, I'm hoping I will find the motivation to do a little more Christmas crafting.

On a completely non-baby/Gabriel/obnoxious note, look at these pictures. I literally cried buckets looking through them because they are so gripping.

Thanksgiving has come and gone

I've been too tired/lazy to put together a Thanksgiving post, but alas, it's finally here. Aside from my feet feeling like they were going to fall off after 20 hours in the kitchen on Wednesday/Thursday, it was an awesome, successful day. In fact, it was a little emotional for me (granted, everything is emotional for me right now) because it was the first time we have hosted my extended family at our house. There were about 22 people who came and to say we had too much food would be an understatement. We even forgot to serve several dishes because they got lost in the mess on one of my counters and we still had sooo many leftovers. As in, 20 pounds of leftovers. In my refrigerator. Not including dessert. Thankfully, my parents are awesome and didn't leave that night until we had sufficiently cleaned the kitchen and the boys put away all of the tables.


On Friday, I started pulling out my Christmas decorations, but I'm only about halfway done because we just had a lazy, lay-on-your-butt sort of weekend. Not to mention my obsession with the book I'm reading right now, Pillars of the Earth. In the last 48 hours, I've blown through about 400 pages and I still have maybe 200 or so pages left. I cannot wait to finish!


Anyway, here are some of my fave pictures plus some of the crafty things my sister and I worked on leading up to the big day!

For some reason my dad wanted to channel my brother in all of his military pictures. Stay classy, dad.

How cute are my parents??

For some reason it was a belly touching day...maybe because I'm HUGE now.

How was your guys' Thanksgiving??

Mama needs some sleep

My firstborn is seriously infringing on my quality of sleep, among other things. *ahem*

I'm convinced that this is the universe's way of paying me back for all of those times I smugly replied to anyone who told me their child was wreaking sleep-havoc with, "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Yes, Gabriel always sleeps in his bed and uh-huh, he's slept through the night since he was 6 months." Basically - sucks to be you, my child rocks it out at night.

Well, I TAKE IT ALL BACK. Gabriel is a little beast-child who has been refusing to sleep in his own bed since we moved. Sometimes he we cry it out for an hour at night and then I cave. Sometimes he'll do it because I've promised to give him all the things I swore I wouldn't give him in the morning i.e. soda, candy, chips, my soon-to-be-second-born if he'll pleasefortheloveofgodsleepinhisownbed. Occasionally he'll fall asleep in our bed and then Adrian will transplant him into his own, though that works less often now.

Our recent solution? Kid, if you're going to sleep in our room, you're sleeping on the floor. He has since set up shop on my side of the room with his blanket and pillow, now calling that his bed. When we ask him if he's planning to sleep in his own bed, he looks at us stupidly like, "Uh, duh, it's right here..." while pointing to his makeshift sleep station.

We have GOT to get this under control before baby Ayala makes the grand exit...

Lord help us!

Best. Lasagna. EVER.

Adrian is surprisingly picky when it comes to food. I'm used to it, so it doesn't shock me when at the end of a meal he says to me, "Next time you should leave out this," or "maybe you should use a different recipe all together...(basically, never make this again)."

He's pretty hesitant about anything unfamiliar and was raised on his mama's beans and rice, so he's a little ignorant when it comes to, um, American food. Or ethnic food. Or most foods that are not considered Mexican.

I made him chicken and dumplings the other night and upon seeing it he said, "Uh, is this some kind of Jewish food? Because I can just make myself some quesadillas..." No offense, my lovely Jewish friends...he wouldn't recognize anything remotely Jewish if it smacked him in the face.

But I love that man so I cry and sulk grin and bear it when he says mean things about cooking. He's really just trying to help...really. Anyway, I digress...I finally made a recipe that he sat back after he was finished and said, "Don't ever change that recipe. And save it immediately."

My friends, I have found the Holy Grail of lasagna recipes. It's pretty basic and perfect and delicious and heavenly. I stuffed myself so thoroughly at dinner that I'm having a hard time waddling around (as if I need more reason to waddle!). And breathing. I only made two changes to the process and that was to omit the goat cheese and use no-boil noodles. We are talking perfection here, people!

Go HERE. Make the recipe. Thank me later.

It's me versus Kaiser and I'm coming out on top

I have had many gripes with my medical insurance, Kaiser, over the last 10 years or so - really, ever since I've been aware about my medical care. When I was in college and saw them for tension headaches and sleep problems, I asked about using acupuncture as a solution which I knew was technically covered; they not so kindly offered me a low dosage of anti-depression medication and told me that I had no other options. When I questioned them, I was essentially told that I didn't know anything about anything and that if I didn't take the medication, I was refusing treatment. Whatever. I took the medication, tried it a couple of times and then said eff-this, I'm not unnecessarily medicating myself, but thanks anyway K-K!

I didn't have Kaiser when I was pregnant with Gabriel, though still had some complications. When Adrian started working for his current company, we switched back because of cost and familiarity. I knew when I got pregnant with this little nugget that I wanted to try for a VBAC, which is why I chose to have a midwife through them, hoping she would be a little more supportive of my choice to have an intervention-free labor. When we met, she was extremely encouraging about my decisions, so much so that I pictured us skipping hand-in-hand under rainbows and sunshine down the path towards delivery...

Let's just say the rose-colored glasses have come off. I was so disappointed and discouraged as I walked out of my most recent appointment last week. Everything started out okay, but then she mentioned that we should consider scheduling a date for a c-section at 41 weeks on the off chance that I hold in this little boo past my due date. Uh, hello? Have you been listening to me for the last 30 weeks? She mumbled something about the baby being too big and that the chance of rupture goes up the farther past my due date I go. She mentioned something else about my body possibly not being able to go into labor on its own, another reason to just schedule an appointment. All I wanted to say was, "You don't know me (my cervix)!" I went into labor on my own, no pitocin or other crap going into my body. I have faith in its ability - clearly, she doesn't. When I reminded her of this (which she was already told at our very first appointment, but whatevs), she said oooh, great, let's hope that big little body of yours cooperates. Cooperate this, lady!

There were a couple of other things she told me about the actual experience that ruffled my feathers, but at this point, it doesn't help to dwell on them. Instead, I am thinking positively about my labor every day. I've started working on a set of "birth wishes" to go over with my midwife at the next appointment. I have a friend from high school who recently became a doula and we've reconnected because of my pregnancy. It's been nice to have someone to chat with someone who is familiar with the birthing process and politics, as well as to vent about stuff like this that most of you could probably care less about...

The best part is that she has offered her services free of charge (if you don't count the copious amounts of cookies and flowers I'm going to give her). Adrian really doesn't care either way, but I am still weighing things. Although all modesty is lost in the delivery room, I'm still not sure how I feel about someone other than Adrian being there. I also know there might be a couple of people who feel that if anyone is going to be in the room with us, it should be them, but here's my response to that:


The use of a doula...

• Reduced the overall cesarean rate by 50%
• Reduced the length of labor by 25%
• Reduced oxytocin use by 40%
• Reduced the use of pain medication by 30%
• Reduced forceps deliveries by 40%
• Reduced requests for epidural pain medication by 60%
• Reduced incidences of maternal fever
• Reduced the number of days newborns spent in NICU (neo-natal infant care unit)
• Reduced the amount of septic workups performed on newborns
• Resulted in higher rates of breastfeeding
• Resulted in more positive maternal assessments of maternal confidence
• Resulted in more positive maternal assessments of maternal and newborn health
• Resulted in decreased rates of postpartum depression 

In the long run, I care most about having a healthy baby and secondly, to having a baby without having a huge hole cut into my stomach (on that note, has anyone ever watching a video of a c-section. All I have to say is HELL TO THE NO. And, how in the world did Adrian watch it go down?)

I'm going to win this battle, Kaiser! I'm coming prepared!

Some things I'm trying not to forget

Gabriel is growing so fast, morphing from my little sweet baby into a big boy, with his own preferences and distinct personality. I really don't want to forget these days...


The fact that the only likes the blue Go-Gurts, the pinks just don't match up.


How he out of the blue recently started telling me, "Mommy, you look really beautiful." (Melt. my. heart.)


When he tries to tell me he's thirsty, it comes out, "stirsty."


He must sleep with Buzz, two books, a flashlight and a truck. Every night.


How much he loves to talk about farts. And fart. And burp. Just like someone else I know...

The fact that it we cannot leave the house without his blanky. EVER.


He refuses to allow us to drive anywhere without him buckling himself. Because he's a big boy.


Before he goes to bed, he only wants to read three books and in a certain order - first, Paul and Judy, second is Polar Bear, Polar Bear What Do You Hear? and finally, Goodnight Moon.


And especially the fact that before he is able to go to his bed at night he must give each of us a hug and a kiss and say "GoodnightmmommyIloveyouseeyouinthemorning!" as he's rushing into his room to say his prayers.

Thank god Halloween is over

Halloween is such a throwaway holiday for me. Don't get me wrong, Gabriel looks adorable in basically anything he wears and I like watching my husband carve pumpkins - yes, I dislike carving pumpkins, call me the Halloween grinch - but it's really just the kickoff for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I am COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS until Thanksgiving!!

This year it's being hosted at yours truly's, which means I'm working on a menu that so far will include pumpkin gnocchi, butternut squash soup, possibly a root vegetable puree and a turkey of some sort. I'm going to need to do some hands-on research in the kitchen, so check back for some potentially delish recipes!

I don't really have anything else to say today, we're being lazy. But here are some pictures from Halloween and the pumpkin patch...

Week 28 (and a half)

Wednesday marked the 28th week and I have officially entered the third trimester, woot-woot for the home stretch! According to Parents.com, little boo is this size: 

He/she is approximately 15 inches long and weighing in at a whopping 2.something pounds. Apparently he/she should be putting on about a half pound or so per week from here on out so be prepared to watch me pack on some major poundage. Speaking of which, I haven't been nearly as cautious as I was with Gabriel's pregnancy, so I've already hit about 20 pounds. I'm thinking my goal of staying under 30 might be slightly out of reach - oh well!

I'm so thankful that thus far, it's been a pretty easy pregnancy. I'm feeling sore at night, rolling over every hour-on-the-hour has become the ultimate chore, and I am so sick of having to wake up to pee every 2 hours, but it could be worse! I would say the worst symptom I've had is the itching. My elbows and behind one, yes - just one, weird I know, knee have been itching like nobody's business!

I had my 1-hour glucose test two days ago and I'm so happy that the numbers came back fine. With Gabriel, I failed the 1-hour test so they made me do the 3-hour glucose test. You have to drink a disgusting orange-flavored syrup, wait an hour, draw blood, wait another hour, draw blood, wait another hour, draw blood...needless to say, it is not something I'd want to spend a morning doing.

They also found out that I'm anemic and need to start supplementing with iron. It makes complete sense - I was feeling so lethargic during the day and in the mornings was having such a hard time getting up to make Adrian's breakfast. I'm a pretty early riser and prefer to start my mornings between 6:30 and 7:00, depending on when Adrian gets up, and that was such a struggle that Adrian even caught me napping one day with Gabriel, something that NEVER happens. I'm looking forward to starting the iron pills and hopefully having a little more energy.

In terms of the impending labor at the end of this whole thing, I'm still going to try for a VBAC. I'm so excited to be able to go into labor on my own and experience all of the emotions and pain and everything all over again. It's such an empowering process and I'm crossing my fingers that my body continues to cooperate so I can try for a natural, intervention-free delivery!

Here's a picture of me today, feeling great:

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

Teresa's graduation and Julian

Last Wednesday, my sister graduated from her Certified Nurse's Assistant program. For those who know my sister, you know that she has really struggled with school; what takes someone an hour to complete will take her several so she really has to work hard to stay at the same pace as everyone else. It doesn't make her any less smart, just means she has to put in significantly more effort.

During her senior year of high school, she was accepted to Northern Arizona University. Adrian and I drove her out there, went to her orientation, got her settled in and wished her well. Throughout the year, it became clear to her that she wasn't cut out to live so far away from family when she needed more support both emotionally and educationally. I made it very clear to her that I was not supportive of her leaving - it would be such a shame for her to miss out on the experiences and growth that comes with living on campus and becoming an individual. She still wanted to get into nursing so she started out with the CNA program in Coalinga and boy, did she make me so proud! I was worried that she would go up there, live with my grandparents and her friend who went with her, and fall into the middle of the pack, as is her usual. She flourished up there, getting great scores on her tests (probably better than I ever got in college!) and ended up getting valedictorian of the entire program! She's coming home to live with me and do her pre-req's for the nursing program out here and I am so excited...

When I got back from Coalinga to watch Teresa, Adrian, Gabriel and I did our annual trip to Julian with Nicole, James and James' mom, Karen. This is the third year that the three of us have gone up there during the fall/winter and the second time that we all did it together. James and Gabriel were buds and he spent the whole trip riding on James' shoulders. Unfortunately, we didn't get a ton of pictures, but here are a few...