Olive Garden, why do I allow you to do this to me time and time again? I don't know why I always run back to you, tummy growling with desire even though I know the (calorie) high never lasts.
It starts with the bread-oh, that warm, salty bread. One bite and I can't help but consume every last morsel.
I always move too fast with you, ordering impulsively and throwing caution to the wind. Calamari? Yes, please. Salad, of course! And don't forget the extra parmesan. Trying to take advantage of every second I can spend with you, oh my delicious Olive Garden.
By the time my main dish comes out, I am already beginning to feel the regret. How could I have been such a fool? Sick with glutton, I take a few nibbles and oohh, I just can't resist. I desperately begin to devour the buttery noodles into my mouth. But no, take a breath. Savor the last few bites...the end is near.
As always, we have a few minutes together and then you send me away feeling sick and overwhelmed with guilt. Why oh why did I need those last few bites?
It's been two hours since our rendezvous and I can't get you out of my mind. How you managed to mask those 243 million calories by your lovely scent and rich flavor, I'll never know...
How will I ever recover from the kcals and fat grams? I'll carry those around with me forever; oh how you've smothered my body with your lardaceous touch!
To recover from this traumatic and shameful affair, I suppose I'll have to drown my sorrows with Ben and Jerry. They always know how to cheer me up.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Fill in the Blank FRIDAY
This is a segment taken from the little things we do
Enjoy!
1. The first thing I do in the morning to start my day is: roll over and hit the snooze at least 3 times. Then check my Blackberry for emails, Facebook, etc.
Enjoy!
1. The first thing I do in the morning to start my day is: roll over and hit the snooze at least 3 times. Then check my Blackberry for emails, Facebook, etc.
2. Today I wish I way : enjoying another Jewish holiday aka-taking advantage of not being Jewish and having a lazy day off.
3. If I had an extra $100 in my bank account today I'd: either buy myself a new watch, pair of jeans or new boots from Macy's. I've been salivating over their Columbus sale items all week...
4. Tomorrow: I will be enjoying the company of my hubs and baby boo, entertaining friends at our home, bbq'ing, going to the costume store and coming up with some sort of tasty dinner.
5. Two things that don't go together are: uggs and minis. It's just weird.
6. Something I can never pass up at the grocery store is: trashy mags and a cold, bottled diet coke from the little refrigerators.
7. The last time I tried something new was: this week; I worked at a different office and the best part about it-the peace and quiet. No last minute "I need this now's" or "I need this ten minutes ago's..." Just silence...ahhh...
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Musing of the day: Is it weird that...
-I have no idea what I want to do with my life still, at 24 years old?
-I'm contemplating the idea of starting an annual or bi-annual newsletter for my high school graduating class (Before you judge me, I was class president! It's my job to be all chipper, go class of '04, let's all connect)?
-Even though we have finally gotten settled and comfortable in a house we love, in a neighborhood we love, I still want to move out of California? This is all Shannon's fault because she keeps talking about her desire for these mysterious color-changing leaves that nobody in Southern California knows anything about...
-I've been blogging regularly!? Whoa!
-I can't help myself-I want a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks everyday? Whatever you do, don't try the Coffee Bean Pumpkin latte, BLEH!
-I really want to throw a holiday party?
-I would rather be staying home with Gabriel right now and going to school more time, even though I was so ready to go back to work in January? I think I have realized how lucky I was...
-I'm bummed-mad at my husband because he stayed the night in El Centro last night and he didn't call us to say goodnight, he "left" his phone in his hotel room while he was out partying until 1am? Gabriel stayed up until 9 with me because I was hoping to talk to him!
-I'm counting down the hours to go home because I love walking into my house when the wafting smell of stew in the slow cooker is there to greet me?
Have a weird day!
-I'm contemplating the idea of starting an annual or bi-annual newsletter for my high school graduating class (Before you judge me, I was class president! It's my job to be all chipper, go class of '04, let's all connect)?
-Even though we have finally gotten settled and comfortable in a house we love, in a neighborhood we love, I still want to move out of California? This is all Shannon's fault because she keeps talking about her desire for these mysterious color-changing leaves that nobody in Southern California knows anything about...
-I've been blogging regularly!? Whoa!
-I can't help myself-I want a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks everyday? Whatever you do, don't try the Coffee Bean Pumpkin latte, BLEH!
-I really want to throw a holiday party?
-I would rather be staying home with Gabriel right now and going to school more time, even though I was so ready to go back to work in January? I think I have realized how lucky I was...
-I'm bummed-mad at my husband because he stayed the night in El Centro last night and he didn't call us to say goodnight, he "left" his phone in his hotel room while he was out partying until 1am? Gabriel stayed up until 9 with me because I was hoping to talk to him!
-I'm counting down the hours to go home because I love walking into my house when the wafting smell of stew in the slow cooker is there to greet me?
Have a weird day!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
A lesson in husbandry, and no I don't mean the animals
Marriage is tough. I love it, but it's tough. What's even harder is having a baby, both working full time jobs, both taking classes, and still finding time to converse between shouts to the toddler that "that's hot, oweee" and "eww, that's yucky, don't touch!"
But really, men. Really? Raise your hand if you think it's effective to yell, bark, scream orders to your wife because you're tired/hungry/stressed/being an asshole. Husband, put your hand down.
I wouldn't call myself a disobedient wife. I truly love to serve my husband the way I believe a wife should; I like to have dinner ready for him when he gets home on the chance that I have a day off, I regularly check to make sure he's not wearing stained or dirty pants, and I'm sort of type A when it comes to keeping the living room, kitchen and front room clean (to hell with the back rooms, I'm not superwoman!). I balance our very unbalanced budget. I am almost the sole caretaker of our child as I make sure he's fed, clean, wiped, played with, rested...you name it, I do it. I pack Adrian's lunches. Make sure he's awake and out of bed for work.
If I decide ONE day, that I'm going to have dinner with my parents and not go straight home while he's at school, I think I'm entitled to it. If I don't answer his fourth call within ten minutes, so sue me. If I call him back and he's mad for some unapparent reason and hangs up on me, not my problem. If I don't bring him dinner home because I assumed he went to class and was planning on cooking him dinner but really he skipped class and has been sitting on his ass waiting for me to come home and he's still starving, he's an idiot.
But if he thinks that he can take his stress out on me, try to make me feel like his work problems are mine because he has to go to El Centro at 2:30am (which really didn't happen until 5:30am) since I wasn't at the house to get something for some guy who stopped by, tell me that I'm really fucking pissing him off right now, AND THEN TELL ME TO GET MY ASS IN THE KITCHEN, he has another thing comin'.
This wife doesn't play that game.
To defend him just a very, VERY tiny bit, I think he was trying on his big boy pants by telling me to get my ass in the kitchen. He's never said those words to me and hopefully if he wants to keep me and his balls intact, he'll never say it again. Needless to say, that tough guy thing really doesn't do it for me. I laughed in his face, told him no, and that if he wanted even a bowl of cereal from my kitchen, he had some major apologizing and sweet talking to do. As always, he and his pride slunk off into the bedroom without a peep, trying to rest up for his 2:30am appointment with the 8 east freeway.
You can bet at 5:00am when I woke his ass up after sleeping through his alarm he was reaaaaaaaaal grateful.
But really, men. Really? Raise your hand if you think it's effective to yell, bark, scream orders to your wife because you're tired/hungry/stressed/
I wouldn't call myself a disobedient wife. I truly love to serve my husband the way I believe a wife should; I like to have dinner ready for him when he gets home on the chance that I have a day off, I regularly check to make sure he's not wearing stained or dirty pants, and I'm sort of type A when it comes to keeping the living room, kitchen and front room clean (to hell with the back rooms, I'm not superwoman!). I balance our very unbalanced budget. I am almost the sole caretaker of our child as I make sure he's fed, clean, wiped, played with, rested...you name it, I do it. I pack Adrian's lunches. Make sure he's awake and out of bed for work.
If I decide ONE day, that I'm going to have dinner with my parents and not go straight home while he's at school, I think I'm entitled to it. If I don't answer his fourth call within ten minutes, so sue me. If I call him back and he's mad for some unapparent reason and hangs up on me, not my problem. If I don't bring him dinner home because I assumed he went to class and was planning on cooking him dinner but really he skipped class and has been sitting on his ass waiting for me to come home and he's still starving, he's an idiot.
But if he thinks that he can take his stress out on me, try to make me feel like his work problems are mine because he has to go to El Centro at 2:30am (which really didn't happen until 5:30am) since I wasn't at the house to get something for some guy who stopped by, tell me that I'm really fucking pissing him off right now, AND THEN TELL ME TO GET MY ASS IN THE KITCHEN, he has another thing comin'.
This wife doesn't play that game.
To defend him just a very, VERY tiny bit, I think he was trying on his big boy pants by telling me to get my ass in the kitchen. He's never said those words to me and hopefully if he wants to keep me and his balls intact, he'll never say it again. Needless to say, that tough guy thing really doesn't do it for me. I laughed in his face, told him no, and that if he wanted even a bowl of cereal from my kitchen, he had some major apologizing and sweet talking to do. As always, he and his pride slunk off into the bedroom without a peep, trying to rest up for his 2:30am appointment with the 8 east freeway.
You can bet at 5:00am when I woke his ass up after sleeping through his alarm he was reaaaaaaaaal grateful.
Monday, October 4, 2010
The friend deficit
(Jessica + Adrian) + 1 baby + (Jessica's friends + Adrian's friends) - x(those without children) - x(people we would never hang out with) =...?
Can anyone figure out the answer?
I know it's quite complicated, but I'll give you a hint: It's less than 10. Probably less than 5. Pathetic, right?
We're getting a little desperate. We absolutely adore our friends who don't have children and enjoy hanging out with them regularly, but we feel like we're missing an important component to parenthood: other parent friends that live in the area. I have a few friends that are moms whom I keep in touch with regularly who live farther away, but it's not the same when you can't schedule a playdate.
So, in an effort to seek out parent-friends, Adrian and I are putting our heads together and evaluating all of the people we know. Nice? Check. Kids? Check. Could see ourselves having longer than a two minute conversation with them? Check. Young-ish? Check.
I messaged a friend from elementary school. Adrian is going to chat with a friend from work who he knows has children. Seriously, we need a website just for parents to network! Hello Facebook, help a sister out! We are getting so desperate, we have (humiliatingly) even thrown around the idea of posting an ad on Craigslist. Instead of platonic, can't we create a section called fam4fam?
We were planning on going to the Julian Apple Festival yesterday but it's no fun going alone...so we stayed home. And ate. And cleaned. And did boring stuff because we were depressed. Not like suicide-watch-depressed, but feeling a little cloudy and gray.
If you, fellow 3 followers (plus Erin, because I know you stalk my blog), think of anyone, please send them my In-Order-To-Be-Our-Friend application. Or send them to my website: www.familiesneedfriendstoo.com/we'restillfundeventhoughwehaveachild.
Can anyone figure out the answer?
I know it's quite complicated, but I'll give you a hint: It's less than 10. Probably less than 5. Pathetic, right?
We're getting a little desperate. We absolutely adore our friends who don't have children and enjoy hanging out with them regularly, but we feel like we're missing an important component to parenthood: other parent friends that live in the area. I have a few friends that are moms whom I keep in touch with regularly who live farther away, but it's not the same when you can't schedule a playdate.
So, in an effort to seek out parent-friends, Adrian and I are putting our heads together and evaluating all of the people we know. Nice? Check. Kids? Check. Could see ourselves having longer than a two minute conversation with them? Check. Young-ish? Check.
I messaged a friend from elementary school. Adrian is going to chat with a friend from work who he knows has children. Seriously, we need a website just for parents to network! Hello Facebook, help a sister out! We are getting so desperate, we have (humiliatingly) even thrown around the idea of posting an ad on Craigslist. Instead of platonic, can't we create a section called fam4fam?
We were planning on going to the Julian Apple Festival yesterday but it's no fun going alone...so we stayed home. And ate. And cleaned. And did boring stuff because we were depressed. Not like suicide-watch-depressed, but feeling a little cloudy and gray.
If you, fellow 3 followers (plus Erin, because I know you stalk my blog), think of anyone, please send them my In-Order-To-Be-Our-Friend application. Or send them to my website: www.familiesneedfriendstoo.com/we'restillfundeventhoughwehaveachild.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
