Kids say the darndest things

My child makes me laugh harder than most people I know. Some of the things that come out of his mouth, some of the silly things he does...it's too much. Some of it just makes me shake my head and think, "Wow, you are such

Here are three of the recent funnies:

I'm in the kitchen. Gabriel is laying on the couch with his head hanging off while Jonas looks up at him from the floor.

"Mom, guess what?"

"What, babe?"

"I just dropped a booger on my brother!"

"Oh..."

Gabriel just got a new toy yesterday, the Angry Birds Space game that you stack up and use a slingshot and real birds to knock down stuff. He left it scattered on the floor and keeps running around trying to grab them from Jonas, who is now fully mobile and getting into all of G's stuff. Part of me took a little bit took a little bit of joy in watching this all go down because for the last three years, Gabriel has been the one getting into my stuff...haha. That's mean, isn't it?

"Mom, Jonie keeps grabbing my toys!!!"

"Put them away then."

"Okay, I put them under his jumpy." 

...Jonas gets them under the jumpy...

"MOM!! Can you just feed Jonie with your boob or something so he'll stop playing with my toys?!"

hahahahha

Gabriel sitting in the car, points to his stomach.

"Mom, there's a booger right here."

"On your shirt?"

"Nope, it's in my tummy!!!! I ate it, isn't that cool??"

"Uuuhhh...no."

Obsessed: what I want to be wearing right now #2

I have an Oxford obsession.

They're everywhere and I want them on my feet right this instant. I'm trying to find a good excuse to go buy some today or tomorrow...I'm thinking my Napa trip this weekend might fit the bill!

Oxford obsession by jessica-ayala featuring high heels

What do you think about Oxfords? Like or no?

Mobility is kiiiind of a B

Jonas is now an army crawler. Like, full on getting wherever the heck he wants whenever the heck he wants. 

This is uncharted territory. It's kind of freaking me out.

He's coming for me!!!

Gabriel was a spoiled little baby and we held him constantly, so he showed no interest in any type of crawling until 9 months. Even then, he barely army crawled around. Finally, after 1 year, he decided to crawl and at that point he could listen to simple directions. I feel like we kind of bypassed the whole, baby-gets-into-everything phase. Or maybe it's baby amnesia getting the best of me again.

We have to majorly kick up our baby-proofing efforts. Today, he pulled the DVD player out of the stand, pulled the HDMI cord from the back and was trying to get the end in his mouth. I don't know if those things electrocute, but I have NO desire to find out. 

He used to sit so patiently and play with the toys that surrounded him. Now? He goes after the tiny piece of scrap paper across the room and shoves it in his mouth, while I try to wrangle it out of his grasping fingers. Or he swipes at the cup of water I left right next to me on the floor, knocking it over in the .267 seconds that I wasn't paying attention. 

Don't even get me started on the fact that soon, he'll be really crawling and it will only take him a few seconds to get to the stairs. As if I could get any more anxious to move...now I have yet another reason to add to my ever-growing list.

Soon there will be no place to hide. They'll both find me.

Any tips for handling this new baby phase?

Enabling obesity in your children

This is very likely going to spark some conversation...some good. Some bad. But hell, I'm going to throw caution to the wind and post it anyway.

I don't like to point the finger at other moms. I feel like 99% of the time, we're all just trying to do what's best for our kids - attempting to figure out this thing called motherhood - and we should all just support each other. But there are several things I can't tolerate: abuse (obviously), laziness and utter ignorance. Any one of these gets me irritated, but put them on a combo platter and you've got me heated. This might irritate some of you...you've been warned. If you are prickly about stuff in general, you may be better off playing around on Facebook.

Gabriel, Jonas and I were at the mall recently so I could return a couple of things I had purchased from Macy's (remember when I got ambushed nursing in the bathroom?). He, of course, wanted to ride the little quarter rides that are sprinkled down the hallways. I swear those things were not created with parents in mind.

Anyway, we were sitting next to a Cinnabon while Gabriel was playing on the rides. As I'm watching him, I'm vaguely listening to the order of a woman there with her two children. She pays and then hands over a set of 3 minibons (um, one alone packs 339 calories and 13g of fat) and one (HUGE) iced coffee to her already very chubby maybe...6 year-old? Apparently she hasn't heard about that epidemic called childhood obesity or you know, moderation.

via

I'll admit two things: 1. we are extremely lucky that Gabriel won't tell us no to eating anything, although some things take a lot more coercion than others, and 2. he doesn't have the world's greatest diet either. However, we have made a very active effort to ensure that his diet is balanced, he takes in enough fruits and veggies, and that he doesn't exist solely on a diet of candy, cookies and soda. I do allow all three things on an extremely limited basis, depending on what else he's eaten that day.

I'm not perfect. Nobody is.

Now, I realize that this all sounds mean. I know that's it's judgmental and rude and I'm bitching about something that doesn't really affect me. But it definitely affects that child. At the rate he's probably going, he might have diabetes by 12, let alone the social judgement that comes along with being overweight. Kids are absolutely ruthless. In my eyes, she has served up an equally offensive plate of all 3 of the aforementioned things I can not tolerate.

I'm not trying to say I'm better than this mother. Or any mother, really. I have my faults and sometimes I let Gabriel stay up too late or have an extra cookie, but I try my best to always have his best in mind. Choosing to be a mom - and then choosing to be a good one - is hard work. You have to be able to do what's right for your kids, even if it means saying no to them, saying no to what society says is okay for them. It means making the decision to give them bad food in moderation. Or limiting their caffeine intake by not giving them a huge coffee. Finding the time and energy to take them outside, even if it is a billion degrees out, and playing with them...or for that matter, finding active games to play inside.

Look, I get that there could have been a million reasons for what that mom did and I bet we're all guilty of the same thing at some level. It just serves as a good reminder that we can do better. We can always do better.

I guess being a mom isn't for the weak.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing, part 3 - Being the bad guy

"You're being mean to me!"

I hate those words. Instant gut-wrench. This has become a retort that I get from Gabriel on a daily basis. When I tell him he has watched enough cartoons? That's what I get. When I ensure that he finishes his dinner (boy doesn't like to eat, but will ask 30 minutes later for a yogurt)? I'm mean. If he needs to go on timeout for not listening? Again, mean.

I hate being the bad guy because, well frankly, it makes me feel like shit. I want to be the good guy like Adrian, the easy-going one who just gets to play and laugh and do silly things. Not the one who enforces good behavior, cares for our children's healthy diets, and insists on going to bed on time. 

When I envisioned being a parent, I mostly thought about snuggling, watching them play tee-ball and how sad I'd be the day they graduate high school. You know, the heart-warming, sweet stuff that gives you that mushy-gushy feeling in your stomach. I obviously knew that I wanted obedient, kind children, but I didn't really think it would be hard to make that a reality.

Oh boy, how I was mistaken. My boy is headstrong and precocious and  likes to push every single one of my boundaries. He doesn't just toe the line, he looks me right in the eye and steps over it. Some days I just want to say, "Fine, watch cartoons for hours!!! If it means no fighting, fine, fine, fine." But most days I don't. And Gabriel usually pitches a fit and I feel guilty and then try to figure out how to fix things. I don't want him to look back and think of me as the mean parent...the disciplinarian...

 

That's not to say we don't play, because we do. We have lots of fun all day and do things that he likes to do but when it comes down to it, I don't budge much. If he wants another juice after just finishing one, I'm not going to cave because I don't want his teeth to rot. When he keeps shoving puffs into Jonas' mouth while I'm doing dishes after I've told him three times to stop, I am going to put him in timeout for not listening.

I don't want Gabriel or Jonas to be those kids you see in stores or out and about who run their parents' lives and tell them what to do. You know the kids...the ones who are laying on the floor in Vons because they want Mom to buy them candy, and you mentally shake your head when you see her cave because that, my friends, is called enabling. Who give their kids whatever they want, just because they don't want to put up with a fight.

I'm trying to find a healthy balance between maintaining the rules and expectations in our house and letting the reins go a little. I realize that there is nothing wrong with a treat every now and then because, well, some rules are meant to be broken anyway, right?

What role do you hold in your household?

How do you find balance between disciplinarian and fun parent?