Merry Christmas!

 

Love,

The Ayala Family

Happy Birthday, my littlest brother

It's hard to believe that it's been a whole year

since our family was gripped with the greatest fear.

A disease that takes many day-in and day-out

had somehow found you, there was no doubt.

Each morning you woke up with hope and faith,

 

showing us all what it was to have strength.

Little brother, I'm so proud of the person you are

(and I hope you enjoy your brand new car!).

Happy 16th Birthday, I love you!

Christmas Cheer for all to hear, plus all that gifting pressure

I can't help but share some great news: my brother is cancer-free. How about that for a Christmas gift??! My parents are obviously over the moon and I can't help but be grateful to have such an awesome, strong, amazingly funny brother.

Now, let's talk about real meaning of Christmas, the presents! (JOKE) I have been done with the bulk of my Christmas shopping for about a week or so, marking the first time I've ever been done before the like, the 24th of December. I told Adrian in November not to be surprised because I was going to buy whatever I wanted since our situation prevented us from doing any sort of gift-giving last year. As soon as I purchased the last gift this year, I felt a sense of relief, ahhhhh. How great it felt to know that I was able to really buy the things I wanted, or at least the gifts I know my family will really enjoy.

Then I started speaking to friends, and oh, all the "stuff" they were buying and the "things" they had found for their sons, daughters, moms, dads, sisters and brothers. "Did I buy enough? Have I done my daughterly duty by buying a, b, and c for mom and x, y, and z for dad? Must. Get. More. Stuff!!"

I immediately thought, okay, I can run out and buy this with the few bucks I have left of our Christmas budget and maybe squeeze that in on a credit card, but you know what? I just paid that credit card off and those extra few bucks can go towards our desert trip in January instead of feeding into a guilt that is created by comparing things. stuff. material. objects.

It's important to keep reminding myself that although Christmas has become a holiday of giving, it's also a holiday of reflection on the "things" that matter most, which is why I started this post with such great news. All the other "stuff" is just a bonus.

I don't want to feel obligated to buy Gabriel an extra five toys (like I was almost tempted to!) because of the guilt from last year or because a friend has gotten her son more toys than I did. What I do want is for my family to feel loved, for them to know that I thought about them with each gift I purchased and that the things I found were just what they would have wanted.

Instead of teaching my son that Christmas is about volume, I want him to know that it's about love. I don't want him to remember all of the toys he got and what he liked most, though I hope that he appreciates all of the things we've purchased for him. What I do want him to remember is how special it was to spend Christmas Eve with his cousins, the joy in seeing Santa (my dad) walk in and the peace and reminder of the real meaning of Christmas that comes from the church service.

And the penis started it all

The last 11 days have been tough, very trying for all of us and it started with Gabriel's penis.

Yes, yes, I know - weird, disgusting, disturbing.

Two Sundays ago when we arrived back from Erin's wedding, while I was changing Gabriel's diaper I noticed a blood-red ring around his penis and quite obviously, was a little disturbed. Monday morning, bright and early, I skipped work and took him in to have it looked at. It was a simple "penis infection." Nice.

We carried on with our next few days, quite busily, with Adrian commuting out to El Centro and me working overtime as much as I could. Thursday afternoon I received a call from Melissa, a friend who watches Gabriel every day for us. Apparently the rash (which I've had looked at 3 times since the beginning of November) was seen by a licensing inspector who randomly dropped by to make sure everything was up to code at her daycare. Apparently it looked questionable and he was to be put in "isolation" until I came to pick him up. Seriously. So I picked him up, fought with Kaiser for three days to get the damn note, had him shuffled from person to person Friday and Monday.

Of course you know what happened next...Tuesday morning, his first morning back to daycare, he woke up sick. 99.9 fever. Coughing. Sneezing. Crying. Miserable. Angry. Ugh. Luckily and so nicely, Adrian was able to get off and pick up around 12 so the could go home, snuggle, nap and watch Sully (Monster's Inc.).

It doesn't sound like much, but it was one. thing. after. another. One of those weeks.

Who knew I could be so productive?

Aside from the dirty dishes I'm pretending don't exist in the sink, these last 24 hours have been fairly productive in my world!

I've done about 4,239,482 loads of laundry because I'm obsessed with the fact that I have a dryer.
I've posted amazing wedding photos from my bfff's wedding.
Went to the doctor for Gabriel.
Stayed home from work.
Cleaned house.
Did more laundry.
Tried the 30 Day Shred.
Loved the 30 Day Shred.
Planned on doing it again at 5:30am this morning but forgot to get up.
Went in early to work.
Stayed late at work.
Had sushi with the hubs and the bubs.
Joined Weight Watchers.
Addressed a million holiday cards.
Baked cookies.
Ate cookies.
Caught up on all my favorite shows.

Seriously. I'm that good.

On a side note, if I hadn't made the announcement that Adrian and I were trying for a baby, we were. And as an aside to that, I've put it on hold until sometime in January. I decided I'd like to be selfish a little longer and lose some weight.

Here's something to leave you with -- Merry Christmas!

Hiatus, major

Happy December! I have plenty to say and not the time to say it but fear not, I'll be back sooner rather than later.